By Paul LubanskiSimply put, hockey parents are a unique breed. The pure physical, psychological, and financial commitments they make on a daily basis are nothing short of extraordinary.
From August through early April, their lives are packed with trips to practice, games, tournaments and the local hockey shop.
Quite frankly, the word chaotic is probably to mild to describe the average hockey parents' (and families) mere existence.
The neat thing is that the overwhelming majority will tell you that it is all worth it, because in the end, the great game of hockey can be an incredible supplement to their own parenting efforts.
In other words, the positive life lessons that can be derived like discipline, character,overcoming adversity, teamwork and a host of others serve to justify it all.
As far as I am concerned, there is only ONE significant negative regarding this entire process that each and every one of us parents/grandparents have to deal with and it is a very sad one indeed...IT ALL GOES BY TOO FAST!
Virtually in the blink of an eye, your little one becomes a Midget, High School, Junior, College or even a Professional player. And unfortunately, because our lives in this new millennium are such a whirlwind, most of us look back with a bit of regret and kick ourselves for not making a conscious decision/enough effort to "enjoy the ride" just a tiny bit more along the way.
With all that in mind, several years ago my wife Cathy and I decided to write a letter to our youngest son Brett, now 20. (Currently, Brett is captain of the Kenai River Brown Bears of the NAHL in Soldotna, Alaska and will soon play DI hockey after receiving a scholarship). It actually was written and given to him when he was just 14. Our primary goal was simple: We wanted him to know and eventually internalize just how much fun WE have had along the way and we wanted to insure that he carried that notion with him for eternity.
Secondarily, our hope would be that he save our message and re-read it when it comes time to decide if he would make the same sacrifices and commitment that we have made for him (just as our parents had made for us).
Once written, we realized that the letter could serve as a blueprint for literally millions of dedicated hockey parents that have come before us and most assuredly will be on the scene long after we are gone.
So here it is. We hope you enjoy it...and feel free to use it verbatim or with a few modifications for the young hockey-playing hero in your lives.
Dear Brett,
It seems like only yesterday that we were stuffing your tiny feet into your older brother's Bauers for you first Min-Mite skate.
It seems like only yesterday that Mom or I would hold your hand going into and out of the arena. It seems like only yesterday that we witnessed the pure gleam in your eye as we yanked the first "real" hockey sweater of your too-big shoulder pads prior to your first game.
It seems like only yesterday that you scored your first goal ( March 03rd, 1997 from the high-slot) , of course we kept the puck and made it into a trophy. You know, the one Dad keeps prominently displayed on his office desk.
It seems like only yesterday that you had your first sleepover at a favorite teammates house.
It seems like only yesterday that you played your first out-of-town tournament and were so excited to stay in the hotel with the "ream." That is when the mini-stick games in the hotel hallways meant as much as the games on the ice!
It seems like only yesterday that every birthday cake was shaped like a hockey stick and the frosting was always your team colors.
Brett buddy, if we could magically make it happen--we would RE-LIVE every moment. We truly would.
As for the present, it is just as wonderful. We thoroughly enjoy watching every mili-second that you compete...win, lose or tie.
We just wish it could go on forever.
By now, you are probably asking yourself what on earth would prompt Mom and I to write this letter and, more specifically, what is the purpose?
Two very quick and easy answers:
1.) Our unconditional love you you and your older sister and brother.
2.) And, most importantly, we simply wanted to slow down the crazy train we always seem to be riding on. Why? So we could communicate our thoughts and feelings in a manner that will hopefully reach deep into your heart and endure for eternity.
All of our Love,
Mom & Dad
P.S. Next time, will you please consider going five-hole on that Belle Tire goalie?
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Our Brett read the letter one cold December evening in 2005 and for a young 14 year-old teenager--his reaction was impressive. He genuinely thanked us for not only the letter, but for all the time and support we provide him in all of his endeavors. Needless to say, Cathy and I were and still are quite proud of that very special "family" moment.
Want to hear the coolest part of all?
Brett, taped the letter on his bedroom wall where it remains to this day!
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