Welcome back to our final round of - Let's Play Hockey Jeopardy.
In last place is know-it-all Hockey Dad, whose misinformation and outdated knowledge of the game of hockey has put him so far back that he has absolutely no chance of winning. In second place are our placating Hockey Parents, who have absolutely no points because their wishy-washy helicopter style of parenting has enabled their seven-year-old to make all the decisions. And in the first place is well-informed Hockey Mom who is well on her way to winning this contest because of her willingness to seek out pertinent information from knowledgeable hockey sources.
Our final hockey Jeopardy answer, in the category of Hockey Sticks is: it is one of the better ways to help a new hockey player decide which way they should stick handle and shoot the puck. You have 30 seconds to write down your answer.
We'll start with know-it-all Hockey Dad who is in third place. Your response is: What is, opposite to the way they write or swing a baseball bat because my good friend Bobby Hull told me so 40 years ago? eeennn. Oh I'm sorry that's incorrect. Let's move on to our contestants in second place, the placating Hockey Parents. What is your final Jeopardy response: What is-take the little tyke to a hockey rink Pro Shop and allow him to pick out their own 200 dollar Synergy hockey stick, all by themselves? Eeennn. Oh, I'm sorry, that is also incorrect. But you were right about taking your child to a local hockey rink Pro shop to buy their stick.
And our final contestant, who is in first place and well on her way to being a terrific hockey parent, our Well-Informed Hockey Mom. What is your final well thought out response? What is: give a push broom to the novice hockey player and tell them to sweep, because how they hold and sweep with the broom can be a good indication of how they should shoot? Ding-ding-ding-ding. Congratulations, you are correct! Johnny, tell our well-meaning hockey parents what could possibly be in store for their future hockey prodigies.
For the child of our third-place finisher, name dropping Know It All Hockey Dad, you can expect your childhood hockey experience to be embarrassing and miserable because of your pond skating father consistently second-guessing your coaches training practices and telling you how to play hockey his way. You will probably be lucky if your meddlesome father doesn't drive you to hate hockey by the time you reach high school.
For the child of our second place contestants, the placating Hockey Parents, you will be lavishly doted on during your hockey childhood. Your every hockey need will be fulfilled because of your parents inability to say no to you. There will be no need to worry about making the hockey team that you're hoping for, because even if you're not talented enough to succeed, your helicopter parents will maneuver themselves into a position of power within the hockey organization to see that your dreams are fulfilled. The fact that your parents were unwilling to establish limits on you, or allow you to succeed and fail on your own during her childhood, should be of little comfort to you, as you reach adulthood and nobody can stand being around you because you grew up a spoiled brat who was used to getting their way.
And last but not least, the child of our new Hockey Jeopardy Champion, well-informed Hockey Mom! Due to your mothers caring and commonsense approach to hockey parenting as well as her ability to make you understand that it's only a game, you will be given the ability to enjoy the greatest game on earth. Although, your mom’s exceptional performance here today is no guarantee of future hockey stardom, you are quite possibly well on the way to playing this great game of hockey for the rest of your life.
I would like to thank all of you in our Hockey Parent 101 audience for playing along with our first installment of Let's Play Hockey Jeopardy.
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