By now, travel hockey tryouts are either over or winding down. Rosters are going up on websites all over Chicagoland. You have played it cool all day, but now it is time to rush to your phone and pull up the team page. Check the roster. Tap your foot and wait for it to load.
"Oh @#$*^!"
Your son or daughter didn't make the team they wanted. The team you thought they would make, SHOULD make. I've gone through it. I know what it's like ... the air goes out of the room so fast the sudden vacuum hits your skin like a percussion. The illogical team placement leaves you truly in a state of shock. It's like getting punched in the gut. When you can move again, you begin the Bataan death march to tell your kid. Maybe there is crying, maybe it is stunned silence. You know that the bewilderment or rage will fade into frustration or depression.
Your job as a parent is to deliver unwavering love and unconditional support at this phase. Unfortunately, you can't indulge in the blame game: "It was political" or "The coach is an idiot". This is where we grab a teaching moment by the horns and ask our player "How can you use this?" Turn rejection into motivation.
Now I believe most clubs have good systems in place to handle evaluations and placing players properly. I also believe most coaches try their best to get it right. Further, most of us don't know much about hockey or the technical skating skills required to evaluate players properly. Parents spend all of their time at the rink watching their kid and very little watching the others. Natural parental reflexes tend to make us poor judges of talent in reality.
Then there are moments of clarity. Let's say your player decided to stretch their horizons and try out for a much higher level team at another club, not with the hope of making it but to experience the level of effort and talent on the ice. He winds up being one of the bubble players on that team - one of the last cuts. Then your original club places him on the bottom team! There is no need to worry about being that crazy hockey parent living through their kid here. Your club has just shown you the door. Time to move on.
What happens now?
I am not advocating that everyone who is unhappy with their player's team placement go looking for a new club. But if you have had one of these moments of clarity, and weren't fortunate enough to try out at another club, it is not too late to do something about it this year. You can reach out to the hockey directors at other nearby clubs and inquire about post tryout evaluations. The likelihood of making one of the top teams in this manner is nil, but you can start building for next year. Certainly wait a couple of days to introduce the possibility to your player, and make sure it is their choice to try out and not yours.
If making the move now is a real possibility, then conduct your due diligence as you would at any other time of year. Seek out parents at the club you are considering and ask a LOT of questions. You do not want to make the same mistake twice! Meet with the hockey director. Meet with the coach. Have your player talk to other players. Make sure this club is the right fit because, thanks to the two choice rule, the next club will be your last club. Don't worry if you can't pull it all off in a week or two. Your player may have to stay put and use this motivation for next year's tryouts ... at another club.
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